Phones, Moans And Interlocutions….

“I’m not really that interested… just waiting for food…”

I am the first to admit that I am not the slightest bit tech-savvy. I have no idea how to use the downstairs television which Mr.CC has wired up to various devices that seem to require an inordinate amount of remote controls, and a combination of buttons to press that resemble the invocation of an ancient Egyptian entity… so I don’t touch it.

I have a love/hate relationship with my laptop ever since it deleted/ate 37,000 words of a novel I was writing… everyone’s a critic… I never managed to retrieve that and I didn’t back it up either, but thanks to my fondness for written plans and an exceptionally good memory I managed to repeat and complete the lost novel for NaNoWriMo…

Now, of course I back everything up everywhere, even emailing copies to myself – thank you Marje for that wonderful little tip – including burying handwritten copies at the bottom of the garden by the light of the full moon… Well, maybe not the last bit.

Since my laptop has updated, though, it seems to have undergone a personality change and is now behaving in a much kinder and more reasonable way. Perhaps it just realised it was dealing with a thickie as it now explains things – most of the time – in words of one syllable and it asks me frequently if I want to “SAVE”. (“Save? Save what? The world? Of course! Oh… my work… right… )

I am a lot more at home using my mobile phone – I have a Huawei and although I know they are not viewed particularly favourably at the moment, 5G, spying and so on and so forth I bought my phone before all that kicked off and I view its tendency to anticipate my wants as rather endearing… “Here! Look! Let me show you this!”

It has a lovely built in camera that allows me to point, click and hope, sufficient memory to maintain a reasonable social media presence and of course it holds my music collection. Generally I have no complaints at all – apart from one thing. The predictive text option.

I don’t know how to turn it off. I thought I’d managed it once but it reappeared like a persistent and annoying rash… I saw on one social media site a meme that likened predictive text to having a small, permanently drunk pixie living in your phone and I thought this description was very apt.

The Predictive Text Pixie – hereafter known as the PTP – that lives in my phone seems to have either a very salacious sense of humour… or a particularly low opinion of me. I can’t decide. It seems to think I spend most of my life waiting in suspenders and when I wanted to text my elderly uncle and congratulate him on his magnificent display of nasturtiums, well, the alternative the PTP offered me was positively obscene…

The PTP likes to make amusing substitutions too when I am trying to text people, much to their confusion – “Don’t be stupid Samantha! Of course I didn’t want fourteen tins of dog meat!”

I suppose it keeps Life interesting though – and me on my toes… I have absolutely no idea where the briefcase full of used notes in small denominations came from…

13 thoughts on “Phones, Moans And Interlocutions….

  1. Not having a smart phone myself, I hesitated over the name of your phone. It reminded me of an old joke : “What’s a Henwrigh ?” “About five pounds.”


  2. Predictive text is the worst. Ive never really had to pay attention to my typing. I regularly sent short texts or comments without review. After I hit send I discover some word I know I didn’t type. One day I will learn.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Loved your descriptions of predictive text and the idea that it’s actually a little Pixie! 😀
    I have found that even when I have checked my text before sending, the PTP quickly changes it – just as I hit Send!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello Samantha – Are you getting my comments?
    If you see this comment, could you let me know please?
    Almost all my comments I make on other peoples blogs are going straight to their spam folders, and I’ve made a handful of comments on some of your blog posts, and can’t see any of them.
    Would you please let me know if you get this message? – as I feel that maybe all my comments are in your spam folder. (Unless the spam folder has emptied itself!)
    Sending love and squidges ~ Cobs. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good evening dear Cobs – I am doing the old hamster wheel of catch up and I thought: “Ooh – I haven’t heard anything from Cobs…hope she’s all right…” and lo and behold I read a little of your post and found this comment in Spam!

    I haven’t been on for a while as I was finishing a project but it’s most annoying to find WP putting comments in the pretend meat product folder…hope you manage to resolve it…love and hugs (with cat hair of the Siamese variety today) xxx


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