I must apologise for my recent absence – for most of last month a scrubbing brush decided to take up residence in my throat. I know … I seem to have done nothing but whine about being ill lately, but I hate it.
Laryngitis has proved particularly disadvantageous – it’s the first time I’ve ever had it and to be honest, I don’t want it again. Ever. A couple of weeks ago I was helping out at Lizian’s and my voice gave out completely… crystals are the sort of thing you just have to talk about, so I spent most of my time hooting and wheezing and croaking like a demented hybrid of a frog and an owl. Finally I resorted to whispering, leaning forward confidingly to murmur crystal secrets into listening ears… and slightly puzzled faces.
I became a competent mime artist… pointing to relevant parts in the crystal guide books with a broad smile and happy gestures…all the time feeling slightly sick as I consumed yet another variety of antibiotic with chasers of honey and lemon.
I had an annoying ‘phone call with my mother, who is slightly deaf but won’t admit it:
“Samantha – what do you want for tea?”
“Huw – hee – wah!”
“What? Stop being stupid! You’ll have to tell me if you want something to eat!”
Eventually I hung up and just texted her.
The dogs thought I was imitating a squeaky toy for their amusement, leaping on me…
The girls, well, they were surprisingly sympathetic… unless they just appreciated my enforced silence…
My doctor – as you might expect, I’ve seen quite a lot of him recently – looked somewhat surprised when I hooted softly into his ear about my scratchy throat and lost vocal ability, but duly diagnosed laryngitis and handed over a prescription for some more antibiotics.
I collected them from the chemist and was somewhat taken aback at the size of them… and the shape.
Currently, my voice is still fading in and out like a badly tuned radio, but I do feel slightly less drained. Bear with me, friends, and I will catch up… unless I get plague in the meantime!