What makes you trust someone? What indefinable quality do we see in another person that makes us feel “Yes, this person is all right. I trust them.” How do you quantify this, define it, pin it down to declare someone “trustworthy.”
What makes us so accepting of authority figure, like priests, policemen, teachers, that we feel they are right, we are safe with them, they are worthy of our trust. Personally, I am quite a suspicious person. I do not trust easily, and once my trust has been taken for granted, then I don’t forgive easily.
Again, how do you know? I know that I have ‘met’ more people on WordPress that I would instinctively and quite happily trust than I have in real life. And then, when you have placed trust in a person, and you’ve found out you’ve been terribly wrong, does that make you less inclined to trust again? Or do you learn from your mistakes? Or feel bad, because you should have trusted your own instincts, your own little inner voice…
Love and trust don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand either. You can love someone but never trust them, although eventually that corrodes the love anyway. How do you weigh it up? The trust of a child in an adult – or the trust between adults when it comes to children.
In brief: my sons used to participate in a sport, and it has recently come to light that the instructor has been charged and convicted of historic sexual abuse and rape. I was shocked. A man, in a position of trust – needless to say, I asked my two the inevitable question, to which they both firmly replied: “No.”
Somehow, perhaps instinctively, I don’t know, I never left them alone with him. Ever. For those who suffered and their families, my love, thoughts and sympathy are with you.
I have been called an over-protective mother quite a few times, but I didn’t enjoy being pregnant and giving birth so I was bloody sure as Hell nothing was ever going to happen to my children when they were little and in my care.
Forgive me ranting, but of course I am aware that I have to let them go, grow up, make their own mistakes. I have to trust them to do that, and become their own men, the men they are destined to become. Regardless.