Sometimes a phrase stays with me, whether it is a stanza of haunting beauty, a vivid description or something so unbearably funny it makes me laugh out loud on the bus or snort tea through my noseโฆ My dear friend GarfieldHug โ please go and visit, she is as wise as she is witty, and as warm as she is funny โ posted a picture of various animals with alternative descriptions. For example, snake = danger noodle, manta ray = majestic sea flap flap, otter = sea cat snakeโฆ you get the ideaโฆ even now Iโm laughing!
It reminded me of a picture Iโd seen previously, of a tiger cub with its paws resting on a wall, captioned โMurder Mittensโ. Also funny โ I love this sort of word play; but I turned to look at Lily as I was reading this on my phone โ she was curled up, sleeping, next to me โ but as I looked, she stretched, luxuriously.
Her tiny, delicate, blackberry toes spread apart involuntarily and gleaming obsidian scythes appeared, seemingly out of all proportion to her toes. Every cat paw is a Mother Nature miracle of engineering and tendons, designed to pull these knives back when not needed, or release themโฆ
Lily is the smallest cat, but she uses her murder mittens to great effect. Sparrows and blackbirds have all fallen prey to her (I cry for each feathered soul and send it on its way with love) as have two different types of mouse. Oddly enough, she seems to kill the birds outright in preference to the miceโฆ oh no, she likes to bring them home to share. I have had mice in the airing cupboard and the sofa โ none of the others bother, although Charlie once caught a very small mouseโฆ
Perhaps this is why Lily does bring them home for usโฆ she pities us for our lack of ability. I remember one occasion โ I was in the back bedroom upstairs, that overlooks the back garden, and I could see Lily, Ting and Tooty, all gathered in a circle around somethingโฆ
Suspicion aroused, I rushed downstairs and was less than impressed to find them slapping a poor little mouse between them with their murder mittens, for all the world like a gang of mean girls picking on the goody-two shoes. I rescued the poor little creature and sent him on his way with a stiff warning:
โYou should know by now to stay away from hereโฆโ
โThanks Missus, but that black oneโฆ sheโs a terrorโฆ lost Bill and Ted the other weekโฆโ
Having been the recipient of a few swipes from murder mittens, I could only sympathise โ and be thankful that I am the size I am in proportion to my murder mitten wielding dainty demonโฆ
Thanks for the mention and I laughed so much at this post! ๐๐Loved the murder mittens!! Have a good Friday & good morning my dear๐ช๐ช๐ต๐ต๐พ๐พ๐๐
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Lol – you’re very welcome! Pleased you enjoyed the read too! And good morning, my friend – Friday at last! ๐ต๐ช๐ช๐ต๐บ๐๐บ๐๐
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Murder mittens! What a brilliant description of our paws and claws. Purrs, Quicksilver et al
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Lol thank you very much! ๐บ๐xxx
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MOL! Purrs, Quicksilver et al
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Murder Mittens ….. LOVE IT!!!
She really suits the title. Such a luxurious looking beauty.
Sending squidges to all ~ Cobs. x
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Thank you very much! Lily has the sweetest, most innocent face and the tiniest meow…but she’s a little killer. I think maybe she used to be employed by the Russian government….!! Lots of love to you ๐บ๐xxx
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Hahahah, oh yes, I know the suspicion (and dread!) when you think someone is up to no good..!
Caz xx
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Yes…the seemingly nonchalant behaviour that is a disguise for some terrible plot! ๐บ๐xx
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Very cute with a blend of evil. Love it, Samantha! ๐
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Lol – thank you very much! And that sums Lily up perfectly…๐บ๐๐ฟ
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Aaahhh yes….I remember the murder mittens of our cats quite well. When we were kids we would be victims every so often.
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Yes – sharp and quick! And quite scary when you see them at full stretch…! ๐ฑ
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I told my hubby about “mini murder mittens” and he loved it!
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Such an apt description! Pleased your husband liked it too – I have literally just had to rescue a little robin from Lily’s murder mittens…it was one of the lucky ones and flew away unhurt! ๐๐ฆ
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Love this…such gorgeous pictures! Nothing like the beauty of a pure black kitty โค
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She’s such an elegant little cat…thank you ๐บ๐xx
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Vicious murderer – and so devastatingly beautiful!
Being hit with “murder mittens” is routine when keeping house to a bunch of felines. Little Pyshka has been using me for a scratching post from the moment I brought her into the house. Oh well – it comes with the privilege of being cat mama.
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I know…Charlie still likes to ride on my shoulder and that can be painful if she misjudges her leap..!! Nothing like greeting someone at the door with a cat wrapped round your head though! ๐ธ๐xx
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That only happens to me when I do yoga; Barmalei likes to wrap himself around me when I am holding a pose. ๐บ
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๐ธ๐ธAdding to the balance and grace, I’m sure ๐ Charlie just likes to bellow at whoever’s at the door…!!
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Charlie BELLOWS?
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Lol yes! She’s half Siamese and will yell like one if she feels there’s something that needs saying!
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She looks so dainty and ladylike – hard to believe!
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She can ” Waoohhh!!”‘with the best of them, but as Princess she rarely has anything to complain about…we are her devoted servants lol!
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LOL ๐บ
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Don’t you mean MOL (meowing-out-loud)? Purrs, Amber et ql
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You are so right! Regards to Darth Vader from Barmalei who looks like his brother.
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Hello Barmalei! I’m always pleased to meet a fellow House Panther. Purrs, Darth Vader
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Correction, my friend: Mama is the House Panther, and I am only her familiar.
Meows and purrs, and regards to you and your siblings form my sister Beba and baby Pyshka. ๐บ
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Purrs, Darth Vader
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๐บ
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Reblogged this on Michael Seidel, writer and commented:
Murder Mittensโฆ the perfect catfinition and use are presented on Samanthaโs post.
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Thank you very much! ๐ธ๐
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She wouldn’t hurt a fly…why do you such mean things about her? hehe Murder on foot!
Shoko
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Lol…we all sleep with one eye open round here when she’s in one of those moods….๐ฑ๐ฟ๐ฑ๐ฟ๐ฑ๐ฟ๐ฑ๐ฟ
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Love the term murder mittens, my second cat had the most vicious pair!
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I know – their use varies widely! My old cat was a gentle soul, never bit or scratched, but all my girls can be quite handy with theirs!
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Haha, murder mittens! How apt, but we love them anyway. ๐
Lily has such beautiful black fur. โค
Many, many years ago, we once had a super stinky mouse in the house but both cats refused to go near it. In the end it was the family dog (a small Shih-Tzu) that went after it. And these cats were supposed to be the hunters. ๐
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What a good dog ๐ little dogs can be really useful like that, like Jack Russells, they were originally bred for their ratting ability, I think.
Madame Lil looks chocolate-y in the sunlight – not black at all! ๐บ๐xxx
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Oh, I didn’t know that; I certainly learn something new every day. ๐
Chocolate-y is still a nice dark colour. โค
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We live in an old farmhouse that is not well sealed, and therefore home to mice. Snoops is a rescue and quite a good hunter. Kommando sees them as toys that move on their own. Snoops brought Kommando a mouse so she could practice hunting (we think). Kommando took the mouse and promptly let it go.
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I think we have a colony of mice under the shed…๐ข๐ข๐ข….poor little things, I always feel bad when Lily kills them. Kommando sounds like Charlie, she thinks they’re just little furry moving toys! ๐บ๐๐ญ
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