Where IS The Love?


I heard something that shocked, repulsed and humiliated me as a woman the other day. I was on the bus – I seem to spend most of my life on buses, so it seems, just idly tuning into peoples’ conversations here and there, as you do.

My attention was drawn to a trio of people towards the front of the bus, on the top deck. I was sat at an angle across the aisle so I was able to observe – discreetly – and listen – horrified.

It was two lads and a girl, the latter being constantly groped by one of the lads who I assume was her boyfriend.

Oh yeah, had this one ‘nuff times, three-‘oled yer h’ant I love?”

The girl muttered something and wriggled uncomfortably, plainly unhappy with having such intimate details revealed about their personal life… I realised what the boy meant and was absolutely flabbergasted at the sheer vulgarity of the phrase and the casual way in which he spoke about it to his friend, who did not appear discomforted by these revelations, but rather, keen to hear more, obviously enjoying his own little mental scenario.

The girl remained stony- faced. I felt sorry for her. And this is not a feminist rant – far from it. But – where IS the love?


Call me old – fashioned, but I was under the impression that such an intimate act between two people, if not an expression of love, more a release of pure physicality, should still be treated with respect. I felt humiliated that the girl didn’t tell the lad to shut the Hell up and shocked that this act of “three-holing” was such an achievement for the boy that he felt he had to brag about it.

Perhaps the definition of “love” has changed for the 21st century. I don’t know.


All I’m saying is that it doesn’t take much to show a little kindness, spread a little real love. “Be the change you want to see in the world…” to paraphrase Gandhi…

Strike a little match of love yourself and let it burn… become a beacon… and listen to the words of this song by the brilliant Black Eyed Peas.


64 thoughts on “Where IS The Love?

  1. That’s really sad, and disrespectful on both of the boys’ parts. I’d be devastated if that was me, or my daughter, it’s certainly not ‘love’. I’m all up for sharing love around the world though 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh dear, I can’t imagine someone saying anything like that and me staying with them, let alone me staying next to them on a bus in public. Such vulgar bragging really is sad to hear, and one can only hope he ‘grows up’, matures, and learns to respect women and relationships sooner rather than later.x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha! Yes, I agree, can only hope the girl told him off in private or at least learns a little more self-respect. I know if my son – which he wouldn’t! – ever said anything like that he’d be having his mouth washed out with soap and water.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. All we can do is bring up our own children properly and hope they find similiar friends, and partners in the future. There are still a lot of good kids out there. I mix with a lot of younger people in retail. There is definitely a bit of a bitch culture among some but equally there are some sweethearts too. Let’s hope the sweetheart lads and lasses outweigh the bitches, and bad guys!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Sad that these thugs have to try to be a man by bragging about their prowess in such a vulgar manner. Even sadder, I doubt the girl will do anything about it; probably thinks she is not worth any better.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. When my girls were at school they had sex education, which emphasised love and respect. Unfortunately though, I think many kids these days have no stable home life to set a good example.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s sad, because there really didn’t seem like there was any love there. While I can’t speak for other places, I haven’t seen that happening in public where I live. But I know a middle-aged guy who always told his sons to go around sleeping with women to learn “how to become men”; luckily the sons (college-aged now) don’t take that advice seriously. Yeah.

    To be optimistic, I’d like to think that it’s not the culture, age or era that causes these kind of issues, but rather individual parenting. And even though we get people like these, we still have people like you who are so full of love and respect. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bless you – how kind 🙂 I like your optimistic approach and I’d like to think that it’s just some rubbish individuals rather than dismissing the whole age group.. I’ve never seen anything like it before either which is why I think I was so shocked by it. I just hope they learn x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Not to sound like an old lady, but conversations like that have definitely also made their way into current pop music lyrics…sung by both males AND females. Here in the bizarro-world US, a despicable TV host was recently let go from a despicable conservative news channel because of $15 million of sexual harassment claims. He wasn’t fired because he was a compulsive harasser of female co-workers, he was fired because the news came out that the women were paid settlements and he was allowed to continue at the channel. Oh, and he walked away with many more millions than the women were given!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really???
      That’s awful.It makes you wonder about the media and news corporations et al. who serves who…who do you trust? The parties here have started rubbishing each other…did you see BoJo’s interview? A “mugwump”?! Oh well…
      And I must confess to needing a translation for certain song lyrics from my son…and then rather wishing I hadn’t bothered!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The poor girl. I hope she had a word in private too, demonstrating more consideration for him and his feelings than he didn’t for her. Failing that, I hope she punched him in the “privates” and took herself elsewhere. Thoroughly enjoyed the song. Frightened the cat by dancing though!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha, yes, I agree with that! I would hate my son to speak like that about a girl, but I don’t think he would.
      Pleased you liked the song and I have decided that if I am ever brave enough to have a cover up tattoo I would have the heart symbol from the video! 💟

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do feel a bit sorry for young people now. Too much pressure in all kinds of ways. Not easy for them. So, cover up? What have you got now that you don’t want? Of course don’t feel obliged to answer if you prefer!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I wonder if today’s young people have it harder than ever. I know that the perception of sex and what it indicates has changed a lot, the easy access to porn has made people expect quite unrealistic look/behaviour from their partners. There’s more peer pressure to be sexually active now than when I was a teenager. The ‘nurture’, or the ‘influence of the environment’ bit is so much wider. World wide (web) in fact.
        Again, I do think it’s the mixture of both- take one sexually curious/hormone driven teenager. Insert him/her into a world with the internet (share everything instantly) and consumerist society where people and things can easily be disposed of. Sit back and make notes…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Also, I think a lot of these tv shows like “Made In Chelsea” foster unreasonable expectations of how one should look and behave…social media platforms where you can instantly alert everyone to your current status…I must confess to an annoyed Tweet last night whilst watching “Most Haunted”…Yvette screamed and made me spill tea down myself so I felt obliged to share that with the world…

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I sincerely hope she did as Paperpuff thought she should. I am always astonished and repulsed at the way people will speak of something as intimate as their sex lives but will not discuss their finances! Since when is metal and paper more important that relationships?
    I hate to say it but I hope that bugger somehow injures that private region and is put out of commission for a very long time! (sorry….I can get somewhat vengeful when people are taken advantage of).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m afraid I agree – I hope he gets his “comeuppance”, but it just shows how attitudes change towards some things…when my parents got divorced when I was nine, it wasn’t the “done” thing to talk about that either. I just hope the girl wises up. Or has a good friend who tells her how things should be.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a very complex question!!! I think it would be extremely difficult, seeing as people with low self esteem normally group together. Change is very hard and impossible for some people.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Unfortunate in many ways. This fellow and his friend have obviously accomplished nothing in their life nor do they have any urge to accomplish anything but fun ‘to them’ actions. The fact that he has to lord his triumph on a bus for all to hear and humiliate someone while doing this, speaks volumes. The woman must have very low self esteem to put up with this poppycock. All in all a sad commentary how those ‘type’ of peeps stay in the same class. We have jerks here too and they usually remain out of reach of any happy and accomplished times because of their attitude. One day they will discover they are left behind.


    Liked by 1 person

  9. When I was 16, I would have allowed that behavior too. Right now this selfish young man may be the only person who pays her attention and makes her feel “valued,” even if only as a sex object. As sad as that is, it can be overcome, and I hope that happens for her. I blame the culture of pornography for making it worse, but I’m afraid young men have done this sort of thing throughout history whenever they could get away with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. How disgustingly disrespectful! I feel so sad that the girl felt she had to sit there and take that. Nobody should have their personal intimate information shared without them being comfortable about it. Hopefully one day this lad will understand that it isn’t the way to talk about people! x

    Liked by 1 person

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