Puppies and Pain

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It’s been a long time since we’ve had a little boy in the house at my mother’s… of either the canine or human persuasion. Rocky is obviously the most recent addition and like most babies, loves to play. He has a number of special games that I am invited to play, like tug-of-war with the rope toy. This has a certain risk element to it, as he doesn’t really play fair… moving his jaws up the rope till his teeth are perilously close to my fingers and I have about two centimetres of rope left to pull on.

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There are various other games – hide and seek is quite funny, biscuit in three cups, piggy-in-the-middle… This time last week I never thought I would be finishing the week in quite so much pain or with quite so much personal damage… Rocky is, indirectly, the cause of this…

Firstly, we were playing catch with my son in the front room at my mother’s… the puppy was wall-of-deathing between the two sofas while I was sitting on one of the arms. Next thing I know, I’m seeing stars and I feel like I’ve been punched in the face. Which I have. So I know exactly how it feels…

Stunned, I fell completely onto the sofa, tears of pain spurting from my eyes and my agonised intakes of breath filling the now-silent front room. My son leapt forwards:

Oh my God, are you all right??” he gasped.

What happened??Did you hit me?” I asked…

No, it was the dog,” he replied.

Apparently, what had happened was that the puppy had bounded across me, smashing me in the face with his muscular back…

ICE! You need ICE!”

My son rushed to the kitchen and thoughtfully returned with an ice pack to press tenderly against my cheekbone… (“Are you and your partner not getting on, Samantha?” “No, no… we’re fine… I was hit in the face with a dog… “)

Realising that my shrieks of pain were not part of the game, Rocky came to see what the mater was, and empathising with my pain – I like to think so, anyway – buried his head in my son’s jumper and scream-whined his sadness at my injury.

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This of course made me laugh…

What’s the matter with you, Samantha? What have you done to the dog?”

Nothing – I think he may have fractured my cheekbone… can you -” fully expecting my mother to offer sympathetic concern and advice as a retired nurse.

Don’t be stupid, Samantha, what can they do? Put your face in plaster?”

I recovered.

Then, the day before yesterday, we were playing piggy-in-the-middle. I was sinning round and round after the dog trying to get the ball off him. I f’*£#ng  fell over, didn’t I…

My son reported faithfully that the dog was nowhere near me and that I appeared to just… randomly fall over… in my defence, I must say I was dizzy… or I tripped over a fairy. Whatever.

Fact of the matter was, I ended up face down in my mother’s climbing rose, which she had carefully pruned and staked last Autumn… And I smacked my head off the fence post. It must have been a spectacular fall as Erin got up from her seat in the kitchen doorway and came trotting over to check on me, tenderly licking my grazed hands as I heaved myself over onto my backside…

My son thought I’d skewered myself on the stakes and rushed over, ashen-faced. The pup came over and stuck his nose down my cleavage with a friendly snort:

What you doing down there, then?”

I had half the rose tree rammed up my thumbnail – the same thumb that I cut on the so-called safety razor a few weeks ago, and a crescent shaped piece of nail dangled forlornly from my bruised digit. My mother:

Get off my bloody rose Samantha! It’s a Heritage fragranced rose!”

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With my son’s assistance and Erin standing so I could grip her fur, I pulled myself painfully to my feet and went home to take stock of my injuries collected so far this week in private.

I am now sporting a rakish L-shaped bruise on my left cheekbone. A bruise on my forehead where I headbutted the fence post. My hands have gravel rash and my knees look like two bowls of purple porridge… apart from that, I’m fine!

18090505_1824224537897715_714320937_oEvery household should have a well stocked First Aid Cat…

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37 thoughts on “Puppies and Pain

  1. Oh my poor dear!! All this in a week!! I can imagine the pain. Plse take care and stay away from rose bushes and pooches! But the way you described it made me laugh too….though I must not as it must hurt! Garfield hugs and warm healing thoughts sent your way💕🌻🌹🌷⚘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry for your troubles, but your description of them did make me snort (not into anyone’s cleavage, thank goodness). I now have two more expressions to add to my WordPress Dictionary: “tripping over a fairy” and “first aid cat”. They go along with PaperPuff’s “mahoosive”. Recover quickly!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Enjoy it while you can Samantha-they grow so fast…I must say you sound more like me in this post 🙂 Dogs are fast and whoever is looking at me playing with Brian must think I’m drunk (or mad) as I seem to fall over an awful lot while the poor doggie just looks at me from a distance.
    I really like Rocky (well, I would, wouldn’t I?). He’s simply gorgeous 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, bless him, he’s so funny! 🙂 🙂 I have absolutely no idea what he is supposed to be…Mum got him as a whippet/lurcher cross, but he’s already as tall as Erin and has a head like a Staffy…and is built like a tank considering he can knock me over! The other day, we were in the front garden, my son was coming in, Rocky saw him and just leapt straight OVER the garden gate into my son’s arms!! Luckily he caught him!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Whatever he is, he is definitely a very handsome lad 🙂 The size seems to indicate some big ancestors- but I agree, his face is more like a staffie’s. Soon, your son might struggle to catch him, though 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Beware perilous pets! I hope you recover quickly. I have learned first hand that there is an age beyond which we are not meant to fall down. I passed it long ago, and have experienced the painful folly of defying that very reasonable age limit first hand. More than once.

    Liked by 1 person

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