R.I.P. ~ IRON!

_mg_3528Perhaps it’s just resting… 

My iron died yesterday. I had quite a large heap to do, so, rather than feeling sad, I was actually quite annoyed. I am not the biggest fan of ironing, but since joining WordPress, I have learned a couple of life hacks that have lightened the load.

Sue – Space, Time and Raspberries – told me that it really is all right not to iron jeans. Gary – Fiction Is Food – informed me of tumble dryer sheets and the anti-crease button and convinced me that they work. I knew they were there… but I just didn’t quite… believe.

So, then, yesterday, I dragged the ironing board out from the cupboard under the stairs where it lives, along with the overspill of partner junk and set it up. There’s a knack, you have to hold its nose down whilst gently coaxing the leg clip open… I retrieved my iron from said cupboard and plugged it in.

Then I put the kettle on. And the Internet. And the light. And my phone on charge. Nothing. The house did not wake to the magic touch of electricity. I only realised this when pouring what should have been hot water over my teabag…

F*@k!!”

I thought… perhaps somewhat inelegantly…

In the cupboard under the stairs – I hate that cupboard – lives the fusebox. Now. I am not a stupid woman, so by careful checking and process of elimination I realised that one of the switches was DOWN when it should have been UP. I reversed its position and returned to tea, Internet, iron… nothing. Apparently, the light in the hallway is connected to the downstairs socket… fuse… thing… and it shouldn’t be…

_mg_3522“Told you Mum – fur onesies are the way forward. Easy clean and no ironing necessary!”

Anyway, by returning to the implements and switching one on at a time and seeing what triggered the cut out, I was able to ascertain that it was my iron tripping the switch. I tried it in a different socket – same result, no orange light, no hiss of steam… my iron was dead.

OH FORF*@K’SSAKE!!”

I thought, downright vulgarly…

By this time, I was more than a little cross, having had a rubbish cup of tea, been unable to check my notifications and still in possession of a large heap of ugly ironing. I’d even tried my favourite tactic – giving it a little punch, thank you GarfieldHug for the best piece of electrical advice ever – it might not make the item work but it does make you feel better – but to no avail. My iron was very definitely an ex-iron…

So I went to the shop and bought another one. I chose this one. My old iron weighed roughly the same as two bags of sugar, spat limescale at me on a regular basis and had a steam shot like napalm. My partner chose it.

My new iron is a sleek, dainty little number. It’s perhaps the weight of a fourpack of soap with gently rounded curves and the disposition of a happy little sunbeam. I chose this one – and do you know what? It gets the job done!

_mg_3533My new iron… NOT!

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66 thoughts on “R.I.P. ~ IRON!

  1. First, when I noticed the title on my e-mail box, I worried and I told myself, who is Iron? oh my dear Samantha, who died?… there was a little chaos in my mind till to come your post and to see the iron was lying there.. 🙂 You are amazing. Amazing.

    I hate this kind of events in the home…but happens… Your new iron is beautiful, so nostalgic. Are you going back, to the nostalgic days….? Everything, but everything should be changed and imagine…. Sounds nice and I could live in a life like that, you? But wait a minute, how could we be in a connection? Smoke impossible between our lands, maybe letter? Letter? Oh my God! It would take a long time even more than our life… 🙂 so let’s be happy to be in this time…

    By the way, I am new followers of your blogger friends too… Thank you.

    Thank you dear Samantha, have a great day, Love, nia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol thank you Nia! Pleased you liked the other bloggers I mentioned, they’re good friends and lovely people 🙂
      The iron in the last picture (the old one) is what my partner found when he was digging the pond here, when we first moved in. His spade hit something solid with a ringing sound and he found this…I don’t know how old it is, but he was quite pleased with his little find and did try to get me to use it…I politely declined and said I would stick to my electric one! But you made me think just how reliant we are on electricity…we would have to buy pigeons and send letters via them!
      Great comment, thank you very much-have a wonderful weekend and lots of love to you :)xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh dear. Here’s another tip for emergencies, I. E. Mornings where it’s gone pear shaped already, damp (clean) towel + your items that need ironing + 5 mins in the tumbler. Makes steam and flattens crinkles. It doesn’t put creases down the front of trousers for you, sadly, but it does the job for many things! I do actually do ironing but this is a very handy trick. And now the whole Internet thinks I’m a slob 😂 But give it a go!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not a fan of ironing but on cold days it has one positive – it warms up my hands! I have this hopeless ironing board where the cover is always falling off while I’m ironing. I should buy a new cover but never quite get around to it! So ironing really is a chore in our house and on top of that the hoover has pretty much died a death… I need a magic wand! Hate domesticity…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My ironing board cover is so old it’s just dessicated…use pegs or those really strong clips off coathangers to trap the cover on-that’s what I do! And yes…I hate my hoover too…want one of those super lightweight cordless jobs but they cost about £300.00…If you find a magic wand, could I borrow it please!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I use the ‘give it a punch’ tactic too – rarely works, but usually makes you feel better! How frustrating, hope you manage to get a new iron sorted soon so you can tackle that ugly pile of laundry before it grows and multiplies! Or, just fold them all flat, put heavy boxes on top, and hope they straighten out and won’t need ironing at all! Yeah, not a fan of ironing here either… x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am sorry to read that your iron died. But it was a hilarous read! Pity the little punch to resuscitate your iron failed. I was hoping to see your new iron. Not fair, you did not show it ha ha! I hope by now you have had a decent cuppa tea and ironing is done. Garfield hugs for you and am sorry for all your iron woes💕💖🐾🐾

    Liked by 1 person

  6. haha What an entertaining read. 🙂
    In the past – when I still ironed – I had the exact same experience of my iron tripping the fuse. So annoying.
    So how do I get by without ironing any more?
    I fold washing carefully as I take it warm and dry off the line. Job Done! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh the joy of a new household appliance! I like ironing. I need either something like an old movie on the tv, or a play on the radio, or some good music. Oh, and a glass of wine. And an iron. I knew quite an important executive in a major investment bank who never took his jacket off. Apparently his wife only ever ironed ‘collar and cuffs, darling. If he wants the whole shirt he can do it himself’…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOL!! I definitely need to instruct my son in the gentle art of ironing…the exec wife had the right idea too!! I have to be super-vigilant when I iron as the girls seem to regard the ironing board as a petting table…I have to catch them mid-jump, return them to the floor whilst ensuring the whole thing doesn’t collapse..!!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. When I first saw the title, I got upset. What’s Charlie’s mom up to now? Has she lost all the iron in her system and has to get more from the hospital. That’s no fun. Mom did that for awhile and she was not a happy camper sitting for 5 hours as iron slowly dripped into her system. This was before the toys she has now. Needless to say, we got several mews from the post and mom was laughing away like a sane woman.
    Shoko

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ❤️💛💙💜💚💞💕💓💗💝💖💘❣️
    Words just can’t express how much I love this post! I’ve been feeling rather down, and your electrical plight elicited a large bray of laughter. Not at you, my dear, but with you. I’ve been in similar circumstances with much the same utterances. I hope you and your new iron have a long, healthy, and productive life together!
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hahahaha Samantha – I love this post!! Seriously I’m laughing.. My mum had one of those ‘new’ irons… she used it very effectively when we went camping by heating it up on the calor gas ring! I think my sister still has it somewhere… you never know when we may need it…
    I once saved a colleagues marriage when I gave her this advice as she had come to blows with her husband about who did the ironing.. she was working long hours and he wasn’t… The ironing had piled up and had become a bone of contention with neither prepared to back down… (funny how it’s often the little things that blow up to the big things!!)… I told her to go through the piles and take out her stuff and then put the rest into binliner bags and put them in his wardrobe – that way – her stuff was sorted and she didn’t have to look at the rest of it..
    She told me a couple of years later that this had literally ‘saved’ the marriage! haha x
    No pile of ironing – nothing to worry about and let everyone sort there own piles out! – that’s my philosophy!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah..but you see this is MY iron now 🙂 and it’s actually a lot more powerful than the old one…not that I am justifying the amount of time I spend ironing!
      LOL – the “new” iron was one my partner found when he was digging the hole for the pond when we moved to our present house..although as you say..may come in handy!
      Great advice 🙂 love it and I am definitely going to bear that in mind for future reference thank you! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. come on Samantha: men are far superior ironers (iron-men?) as it requires some engineering skills, physical strength and technical knowledge…(well, I say all this to Hedgehog and he seems to be rather eager to prove me right) 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. IRON MEN-LOVE IT!!! Ha ha ha!! Hmm, I suppose I could try that approach..but Alex generally says he’s too little to touch anything so hot and dangerous as an iron…this from a 17 year old who is 6 foot..! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It’s all in the ‘training’… start ’em young – my boys didn’t get anything ironed after they were 14 either although I don’t think my older one ever admitted that to his ‘now’ wife… she does all his ironing for him bless her.. And as for hubby – yep – does all his own – no wonder I let him stay! haha – he’ll kill me if he reads this hehe x

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Another life hack from your fellow blogger (me): find someone who doesn’t mind ironing. Form a partnership or even marry them. Well worth it, I swear 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Or you need to ask Alex to give you some lessons in manipulating people into doing precisely what you want and loving you even more for it 🙂 When I ask men to do something for me they always seem to get more pleasure from it than me : ‘you’re so strong, I’d never be able to lift this suitcase, never mind about carrying it just like that all the way! You must be working out a lot! So impressive!’ (and I can easily carry my own luggage). The funniest thing is: years ago, when I started doing dog training courses (I don’t think there were many behavioural courses then) I realised quickly all the techniques worked brilliantly on people, too 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Operant conditioning together with Neuro-Linguistic Programming 😉
        To be honest, I like when people manipulate me into doing things. It means I do things. Fortunately, the people I know are good, so even if they want me to do something it’s nothing terrible 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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