For the past couple of weeks, I have been ill. Quite ironic, really, in light of the fact I recently wrote ‘Ketchup and Catsick’ and mentioned in great detail my tremendous horror and phobia of being sick.

For the past fortnight I have felt like a fragile vessel, filled to the brim with noxious fluid, resting on a rickety, three-legged chair. The slightest push, the merest wobble, and the evil liquid has slopped out.

My mother has taken my attack of sickness extremely personally, it just happens to be coincidence that I have thrown up extremely violently after I have eaten anything she’s cooked. However, she is comforting herself with the thought that perhaps I have Norovirus… that would explain it. Me? I don’t know, I just know whatever it is, I don’t want it any more and they can have it back…

I’m not very good at being ill. I have a couple of physical issues that I have learned to deal with, but I don’t like the humiliating brand of illness that leaves you clinging to the toilet bowl like a close friend you haven’t seen for many years… I don’t like feeling sorry for myself and I’m not very good at receiving sympathy, or my partner and son’s tentative efforts to care for me…

Are you all right?”

No. I’m decaying from the inside out. Go away.”

Can I fetch you anything?”

“No. A new stomach. I don’t know. Go away…” as a clammy wave of sweat rolls over me and I lurch towards the bathroom…

In my quieter moments, I have been able to sit and watch a little television. This is no word of a lie – thank you Universe for thinking I need humour in my life at a time like this – EVERY programme I have watched had someone throwing up, talking about vomit, an advert for medication…

Charlie jumped on the bed and I thought: “Oh bless her, she’s come to comfort me…” she sniffed enquiringly at my head, pulled the ‘OH MY GOD’ face and left.

I have become extremely close acquaintances with the bathroom floor. Lying in a sweaty, clammy heap, propped against the side of the bath, I amused myself by picking out pictures in the speckled pattern of the lino… a bull… the local supermarket… the Ursa Major constellation…

This whatever-it-is I have is sneaky too. I mentioned to a friend that I felt less like a microwaved sock and more like myself again… then IT came back. With a vengeance. I can’t even wear a bra at the minute, my ribs ache so much…

I have tried various herbal and homeopathic remedies but my stomach remains resolute…

Let’s fool you into a false sense of security… yes you can keep that biscuit and cup of tea – OOPS no you can’t! Ha ha ha!”

So now I’m just going to sit very still. Not a wobble. IT might just get bored and go away…


70 thoughts on “Indisposed

  1. oh dear Samantha, I am sorry to hear this. I hope and wish you feel better soon. It’s been some days like that for me too. and I hate to be sick, when I feel bad, my panic attacks starts too. Then I try to struggle in many ways… I am not sure can I help you, but make yourself busy especially your mind but not with the problems… You are the best doctor of yourself. My heart with you today, Thanks and Love, nia

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You poor bunny! Sounds like a horrid, and sneaky stealth bug. Years ago when I had something similar (mussels were the culprit) and it kept just coming back over weeks, I was told to eat nothing for 24 hours, just water or flat lemonade. Then to eat carbs only for several days. So dry toast, clear soup, oddly chips and crisps are ok too. So zero dairy, fruit, veg or protein. Nothing for a bug to thrive on, basically! Might be worth a try if you haven’t already done so, or if it comes back. Hope you feel better soon! I love the drawing, by the way!!

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    1. Oh good grief…mussels can be lethal..
      Yes, so far, bread, tea and biscuits are all staying where they should, fingers crossed.
      Lol…yes, my son calls the drawings “Frog Mum” as for some reason when he asked me how I saw myself this little cartoon came into being…! Thank you for your concern and advice 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Samantha, how awful that you are so sick!! I also get stomach bugs quite regularly and I’ve spent most of my pregnancies hanging over the toilet bowl, it’s awful. I feel quite concerned about you, you said this has been going on for a few weeks? That’s more than a stomach bug. I have to agree with whippetwisdom – time to get yourself to a doctor. Get well soon!! 💚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah bless you, thank you for your concern 🙂
      I was extremely lucky-no morning sickness at all with my two…perhaps the Universe is making up for it now..! However, I did ring the doctor this morning-emergency appointments only- but actually do feel better. I think also because I am rarely ill it knocked me for six…lol…
      Thank you for your concern and comment : ) xx

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  4. My deepest sympathies for this kind if sickness – it is the worst!
    Sounds like you have had a touch of food poisoning. Just check you are replacing enough fluids, or else you need to be on a drip. I hope you can keep cold water down?
    Hoping you feel less nauseous really soon. 🙂

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  5. So sorry to hear you’re feeling so poorly. 😦 Being nauseous is the worst…you start thinking you’ll never feel better (normal) again. When I was younger I used to get bad migraines that caused the worst nausea. Spent a lot of time on the bathroom floor myself. Thankfully those have gotten less frequent as I’ve gotten older. Feel better!!!

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  6. Ye gods Samantha, this sounds a most woeful experience and I envy you not…empathise yes, envy no!

    Really hope you are over the worst. But even in the writing you are still humerous amidst the chaos. Bra less calling God on the great white telephone is a mind boggling visage 😱

    Get well soon x

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It is good you haven’t got a chesty (on topic) cough then, otherwise I might have been responsible for asphyxiation. Verily I could not live with such an event! A potential beta reader destroyed before betaing anything would sit very poorly.

        Wordless horror…Ho Ho Ho, the family is coming….

        Although the visage portrayed might also work, I imagine despite the potential for post traumatic upheavals, the evocative nature of braless retching is not quite the way forwards!

        No need to thank wrt concern…it is offered with sincerity and under no obligation…although beta reading 🤔

        I do hope you feel much better now x

        Liked by 1 person

      2. AAAHHH!!! Stop…I’m still a bit weak for bouts of uncontrollable…laughter!

        Hmm…wordless horror…
        family dog, upturned hamster cage, true story…
        Perhaps not on a par with yours as my “in-laws” are TRULY terrifying..

        Today I was able to cover my assets, so to speak, and my eyeballs are fully functioning! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Alas one must see the funny side of things now and then. Good humour, good frame of mind and constitution fares much better in combating these germ thingamies. Shame about the assets, but ’tis the price of getting better I suppose 🤔

        In laws….yes, friends you can pick, but they are down to pot luck 😊

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      4. That they do…alas I’m in tne mind of an assassin one minute and the victim the next…it’s not over hilarious mind wise at present….my cast list is down by one!
        Sort of re check in. You enter an update wordcount and their metrics tell you where you are on averages and targets. At the end you use their validation calculator by posting in your entire book….eeek

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      5. I have no idea 🤔 All I can see on my profile is the state of play buddies are at. I don’t know what happens after validation occurs. That might do something I don’t know about yet….although in my case, if I hit the target it won’t be finished. I’m thinking it might need around 60,000 to 70,000 for that,

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      6. 45,000 now! Good grief, polishing time…this is possibly the most iffy first draft I’ve ever done. Also it will need more than 50,000 to finish. I don’t think they publish no, it’s just a tool to get authors writing. That said its the first time I’ve done it and writing to keep up hasn’t allowed me to explore. You up for it next year 😁

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      7. 48,000 now 🤔
        I’m connecting with a few bloggers next August to get some people to buddy up with and get prepared (this time). That helps loads. Also, to avoid stress set realistic goals, anything above that is a bonus…until…it looks like you’re in with a shout of doing the full amount…then it’s boom arrrghhhh….my head is currently all over. My last chapter was read real quick by my reader and she’s chomping for the next one! I have now pencilled you in already for next year 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Yes, you can count me in! I would love to have a go…isn’t there a quote that says everyone has at least one novel in them…or something like that!
        I hope yours is going well, words into pages..pages into chapters…WHO have you killed?!

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Brilliant 😊 Yes, they do say that…suggests at least one of mind might fall into yes, it’s a novel 🤔 Did my latest wordcount and it was 3 words short…can you believe that!! Added a bit more since but not validated it yet. Might have to to that to tomorrow now 🤕…as for who’s been dispatched….spoilers 😇


  7. You poor thing….I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I once had stomach flu and never left the toilet bowl too. Please get well soon and I wish you a speedy recovery. Take your meds diligently and please do see the doctor or herbalist. Garfield hugs and sending you a virtual bowl of nourishing soup😊😚🍲🌻🌺🌷Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh dear, Samantha, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been so ill. I do hope you have turned the corner and continue to feel better. Nothing better than a cuppa to wash down that dry toast!

    Not to make light of your dire state, but that description of your illness (rotting from the inside, etc.) had me rolling on the floor … with laughter. The fact that you’ve held on to your sense of humour, if not your breakfast, lunch or dinner, is a good sign.

    Sending healing thoughts from across The Pond. Be well!

    Liked by 1 person

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