I have stopped smoking! I have now been 16 days smoke-free and I’m not going to lie… it’s been difficult! I must thank everyone who has wished me well and good luck – I’ve certainly needed it – and I must also mention Hayley Lucas and thank her for her blog Quit Smoking full of useful facts, help and support.
I hope I stay stopped, since theoretically I stopped smoking every night when I went to sleep… However, as the nice lady at New Leaf pointed out, never mind a week, or a month at a time – just work towards the next hour of being without a cigarette.
It’s been a long and torrid love affair, Nicotine and I… I had my first drag when I was actually four, my parents both smoked, as did my older sister, so cigarettes were always readily available. At this point I must both excuse my parents and blame my sister… let us pause and consider the blessing of having an older sibling. I learned at an early age that cherished childhood figures were… myths and what went on in grown up bedrooms was a horror story to my unwary younger ears.
My sister thought it would be amusing to make me carry lit cigarettes from her to her boyfriend in my mouth… My parents were out, I coughed and inhaled and… threw up. That knocked that little party trick on the head. My next brush with cigarettes was at school. An all-girls’ school where I learnt to smoke, drink, and swear like a particularly foul mouthed T.V. chef, picking up a few exam results and more ladylike qualifications such as embroidery and napkin folding along the way… Peer pressure.
Somebody acquired a packet of ten from an older brother (there we are again) and we gathered furtively behind the gym to be daring and adult. Nobody really liked it apart from me.
And there was born a habit, an addiction that has ruled most of my adult life. It became part of me to such an extent that when some friends and I were playing an association game, and it was my turn to be defined, somebody said I smelled of cigarettes, vodka and perfume. I gave up drinking some years ago. Now cigarettes – I AM NOT GIVING UP MY PERFUME!
I am not romanticising smoking or condoning it – it’s awful, addictive and you will never have any spare money. Just don’t. Just don’t do it. Don’t start, and if you have, then please stop. I did.