Spiders: Part 4

IMG_7533 (3).JPG

I am afraid. Very afraid…September is here. Three days old. And I’m waiting. I know something will happen…it’s my oldest son’s birthday, but that’s not what I’m talking about…Spider September is here…

This is the month when all the single male spiders come out to find a partner…and my house seems to be a particular focus of lonely male arachnid attention. I’m not sure why because I certainly don’t encourage them – I actively wish they’d go elsewhere in search of true love and the possibility of baby spiderlings…

I’m prepared. They’ve thrown little testers my way which I have met with equanimity and fortitude. The spider sitting in my favourite cup – an old one but a good one that never fails to raise a scream. The observing of the routes that I take in our garden whilst pottering about, digging up things to see if they’ve grown, then sighing and replacing them as I see that they haven’t…The stringing of silken lines across these paths that I take so I am left screaming and flailing, clawing desperately at my face and leaping up and down as I try to remove the clinging, sticky threads from my face and hair…

_MG_7427 (2).JPGIt’s enough to make a cat laugh!

Oo look! ‘Er at the corner’s off again…doing one of ‘em funny dances that she does..”

I had a particularly trying moment with a spider the other night. I’d gone to bed, and I was quite tired, so I’d fallen asleep quite quickly. A couple of hours later, I was awoken by a gentle tickling against my thigh. I shifted irritably, hoping that my partner would get the message that he had absolutely no chance…A minute’s peace and the tickling resumed, edging up underneath the hem of my pyjama top…I sighed and flung my arm out crossly, hoping to discourage him with a pretend sleep whack. His side of the bed was empty.

IMG_6932 (2).JPGFlowers are always good

In the split second I registered this my eyes pinged open and I was completely awake and alert. I have a bedside light and carefully-oh so carefully- I reached over and pressed the on switch. Then, with a little light on the situation, gently – oh so gently – I peeled back the sheet and duvet and looked down at my body. The edge of my pyjama top slipped aside, and out fell a spider. Not a very big one, admittedly, but a fair sized one, perhaps about the size of a raisin.

Everything’s fine, Miss Murdoch, nothing to worry about up there..”

With a friendly wave, the spider continued on his exploration of my bed, whereupon I leapt agilely out of my bed, catching my elbow painfully on the bedside unit and entangling my toe in the sheet so I fell, arms and legs akimbo to the floor…

Gasping breathlessly, I raised my head and the spider is WATCHING me, a faintly puzzled look on his hairy face:

Oh, come back…I won’t hog all the duvet and I don’t snore..we can have a little cuddle!”

With bones of water and lungs of lead I managed to lurch away and finally scream for my partner to come and rescue me from this over-friendly arachnid bed invader.

IMG_5286 (2).JPGBlue Lace Agate… good for overcoming suppressed fears and linked to the Throat Chakra, enabling good communication… could have done with a piece to help me scream properly… 

Perhaps you see my predicament…I won’t kill them any more, they don’t deserve that, but I do wish they didn’t feel so…compelled to make me part of their lives. If this is just the beginning, then I am more than a little apprehensive about what is in store for the rest of the month…

33 thoughts on “Spiders: Part 4

  1. Beautifully written, as always. I welcome spiders who set up their webs near the fruit and veg patch, catching all the flies. There is room for all of us to be happy. Have a blessed weekend Samantha and I hope the spiders will not go where you do not want them to! :o) xxx

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  2. Ooh gives me the shivers just to think about it. Can’t stand them myself either. Isn’t there some scary statistic about how many the average person swallows in their sleep?? Sorry, did I just make it worse? Anyhow, I have a possibly handy tip. You know when the spider is running straight at you (because they always do, right?) and then suddenly stops? Well, apparently they aren’t actually planning their attack, they have just run out of energy and have to recharge briefly. So this is the perfect time to cover them with an upturned glass or bowl and wait for the emergency rescue services to arrive.

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    1. IN THEIR SLEEP!!! Oh no, I need one of those mouth mask things..and nostril plugs..and something to put in my ears…or no. A better idea is for me to live/sleep under a giant glass dome and the spiders can just have the house.
      As for them running at you then stopping suddenly, I must confess I thought they were plotting something horrible. How long is the window of opportunity for capture?

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      1. You wouldn’t perhaps consider giving it a little go..? For all fellow arachnophobes?
        My first reaction with spiders is to hide..or climb up something. Odd when you think spiders know all the best hiding places and climbing is second nature to them really…


      2. Definitely not. Some boffin somewhere will time it. I’d need years of therapy if I tried. I have to deal with them one way or another once sited. Otherwise I can’t go back into the room until I can reasonably have expected them to have died from natural causes…

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      3. I asked a delivery man last year… One appeared just as he arrived. He asked me if they could bite through plastic bags and I had to be honest and say I didn’t know!

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      4. To me that is still too close for comfort. They could scale those in a jiffy. My mum had one of those that hoovers them up, but gently, and then you let them loose outside. I’d drive them somewhere far away. Just to make sure they weren’t a homing spider.

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      5. You have a point..a spider has flung itself recklessly at me from the top of the blinds before. I didn’t really like that. Capture with box trap or hoover is not viable in those situations-just scream and run. I am very tempted to ask my partner to paint numbers on the spiders (they’re that big) just to eliminate the possibility of homing spiders…

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  3. You’ve made me laugh again. I do like spiders with the concerned/busy expressions on their little faces. Greatly misunderstood in our shallow, look-obsessed society, if you ask me (though nobody ever does). I used to have an anorexic tarantula called Hermione. She was the only rescue spider I’ve ever met-I guess people don’t abandon them much.

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      1. Hermiona didn’t eat, she was very stressed when I got her, she was almost bald, too. Later, she got her beautiful, smooth and soft hair back, but she never had much of an appetite. Arachnophobia is just a way of protecting your body from being poisoned, quite a few species are venomous. Not in the UK but your brain doesn’t register it immediately. The survival instinct we still have now was the reason our ancestors survived thousands of years ago. Well, at least that’s one of the theories. Another one is that we’re conditioned/ it’s a learned behaviour. I kind of like them, not sure why. Possibly because my parents forgot to tell me when I was a child that they were not quite socially acceptable 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol! Great explanation-love it! Therefore because my mother is afraid of them I learned the fear from her, and then my older son from me..Alex (must be something about the name ) isn’t too bothered and very nobly rescues me if necessary x

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