Accused…

WP_20150731_13_31_45_Pro.jpgSome beautiful varieties of Obsidian, all are truth-enhancing  and protective… A black Obsidian sphere and wand, Snowflake Obsidian palmstone and ring and a Mahogany Obsidian tumblestone…

I have two sons, one is now 17 and the other is 21, so at times there are four years between them, or sometimes five. There are ten years between my sister and I – she’s the older, and I know from personal experience that the older sibling generally gets the blame…


“W hy are Samantha’s gerbils in the fish tank?!”

Well, she wanted to know whether they could swim…” my sister replied, afire with the spirit of genuine enquiry.

But you’re older than her and should know better!”

The expected recriminations followed; the gerbils were dried and returned to their cage, none the worse for their impromptu swimming gala…

When my younger son was born, I made sure my oldest still knew how important he was to me and how loved, and how he would grow to love having a new baby brother, someone who would look up to him… and so on. The inevitable sibling squabbles ensued…

They get along well together now, but one particular incident from their childhood has stayed in my memory. My partner’s mother had given them both £5.00, a lot of money to a nine and four year old.

MAKE SURE YOU PUT YOUR MONEY SOMEWHERE SAFE” their father instructed.

My boys went to their bedrooms to play, and no more was said about their money until the following day. It was the Easter holidays so we’d planned to go out.

FETCH YOUR MONEY, YOU MIGHT SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE.” said their father.

My oldest son went to get his, and duly returned. My youngest did not come back downstairs. He couldn’t find his five pound note. Of course, we asked him where he had put it and he said, a little hesitantly:

On the windowsill.”

So where is it now?” the next logical question.

I had the window open, and I think it must have flown away out of the window…”

I was somewhat flummoxed by this, but quite prepared to believe it – he had no reason to lie, after all. My partner, however, responded differently – and unexpectedly. He summoned my eldest son:

WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN YOUR BROTHER’S MONEY?”

My oldest, flustered by this, stammered

But I haven’t! I wouldn’t take his money! I’ve got my own!”

COME ON, OWN UP, OR WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE AND YOU’LL BE PUNISHED FOR BEING A LIAR AND A THIEF!”

But I didn’t take it, really!”

My youngest was in tears, insisting that it had flown away and his brother had nothing to do with it.

RIGHT, WELL IT SHOULD BE OUTSIDE THEN.” We all had to troop outside and search the area below the bedroom window.

Eventually, I lost my temper, and said:

No, he’s not lying. His brother’s obviously lost it, it’s no-one’s fault.”

Suffice it to say that day we didn’t go out. I felt awful. Sorry for my youngest who had lost his money, and sorry for my oldest who stood accused. I didn’t doubt my children. Not for a minute. I have never stolen anything in my whole life – not even when I was homeless and those were desperate times – and I’d hoped that I had managed to instill the same morals in my own children. Had I failed? No. I pushed that tiny pin prick of doubt aside completely. If my youngest son had said the five pound not had flown through the window, that was exactly what had happened. My oldest had nothing to do with its disappearance as he stated, over and over again. I stood by my children and the atmosphere between myself and partner was, shall we say, a little strained. He’s a very… black and white person. There are no shades of grey and things are either wrong or right, except when it comes to our cats, the beloved ‘Girls.’

His unforgiving upset me. My oldest son remained steadfast in his honesty. My youngest son stuck to his account of events.

IMG_7271 (3).JPGLapis Lazuli – truth-enhancing and good for communication 

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

These words, an interpretation of Ocean’s Razor, via Sherlock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – danced through my head…

I went outside. I looked under a heap of dead leaves that had collected in the corner near the fence… directly underneath but slightly to the right of my younger son’s bedroom window. I disturbed a nest of woodlice, and after moving them aside, looking rather sorry for itself was the five pound note. It did fly away through the window. My partner never apologised.

In life, there are things that are overwhelmingly self-evident. All I’m saying is, don’t jump to the obvious conclusion. Leave room for the impossible… or even the improbable.

1421080994454“Yes… I touch it – it’s mine…

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30 thoughts on “Accused…

    1. Exactly-and I felt very sorry for not explaining what “safe” meant. I made a mistake in assuming he would know what to do..however, as a postscript to this story, shortly afterwards I took both my sons to our local bank where they opened their first bank accounts. The lesson learned was to be responsible with money and explain with kindness and patience 🙂 xxx

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Kudos for sticking up for your boys! Innocent until proven guilty should surely always apply, especially to kids! I have some important questions though: which gerbil won the swimming gala, and what stroke did they do? Also, how do you dry a gerbil? Towel down or hair dryer?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As far as I recall, it was mummy gerbil who reached the side of the tank fastest…possibly trying to out-swim the babies who were trying to climb on her back. As for what stroke, why, gerbil paddle of course! My mother sat in front of the fire-whilst berating my sister- with a box of wet gerbils on her knee, carefully drying each one with cotton wool and brushing it with a baby brush before passing them to my father to return to their cage…my mum’s pretty cool like that! And the gerbils (before you ask lol) went on to live long and happy lives, in which never again did they have to swim…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Do you know, I haven’t either. I did see Mary Berry-bless her, as much of an icon as Barry Scott-do a recipe for potted shrimp, but meat I just don’t know…brings to mind those weird little jars of paste you can never get the lids off, with flavours like sardine and tomato…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. …Princes salmon spread…I had that in my packed lunch every day for about a year! Eventually I asked for a bit of change and got marmite…for another year…

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I am not that fond of marmite either! But you know, the jar had been bought so it had to be used! Have you tried cooking celery? An Italian I once knew told me to put it into spag bol or similar sauces. It’s nice!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a heartfelt post Samantga and I feel your pain and frustration. It is sad that your partner is not willing to apologise at least to the 2 lads as it would have meant alot to them. Keep the faith in the boys you have guided and mentored. They will be good adults as these are life lessons to them. They will emulate you and not your partner. Have a good Sunday my friend. Garfiels hugs💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They have grown up to be good boys with a balanced and tolerant outlook on life..my partner is, as I said, quite a “black and white” person..I think he misses out sometimes, not seeing the grey lol! Have a good Sunday, rest and recuperate *hugs* but just normal ones as I can’t do Garfield ones 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a nice lesson and story, I am impressed, and I put myself in your situation, I felt. Beautiful post dear Samantha, to be parents is not easy. Thank you, have a nice day, (of course photographs, I loved too 🙂 ) Love, nia

    Liked by 1 person

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