Mobile Phone Face Off

Smoky Quartz is a really effective absorber of electromagnetic ‘smog’: unhealthy vibes radiated from electrical items like computers and phones… 

It lay on the worktop, smugly shiny. It looked at me. I looked back. I laughed nervously yet nonchalantly as my palms began to sweat. Yes, I had been given a new mobile phone as a present. My hoped for reaction of kisses and gratitude was eagerly anticipated. I prodded it, like you would prod a shrivelled slug with a stick. It burst into life with the logo and jingle blaring tinnily (my old one purred and chirruped sweetly.) I took a step backwards: “Oh, I didn’t realise it was touch screen…” That could have given rise to a whole host of new problems, since my hands are naturally cold and therefore touch screen tech doesn’t always respond to my clammy taps. (My son likens me to a lizard who needs temperatures of at least 34 degrees to function normally.)

Now, I am not a stupid person. I can get to grips with most modern kitchen appliances – the new washing machine had me foxed for a couple of days, but I can even turn the television and internet on simultaneously… but there’s something about mobile phones that makes me uneasy… Laptops and computers still remain mostly a mystery to me, but I never have much reason to use them as I do all my writing the old fashioned pen and paper way. (Yep, I still write letters that need stamps…) But.

You need a mobile phone. In this day, it has now become imperative that you are contactable at every hour of every day. I see the necessity of this, especially when my children were younger and now that my mother is advancing in years, but I’m not one for fiddling away on games, music, social media and updating my status every few minutes. (That would be an interesting experiment… status: sitting on the sofa, eating a biscuit. Five minutes later: eating another biscuit, thinking about going upstairs to see what the cat is doing…)

IMG_4708.JPGWot? I’m sleeping!

I like a phone that I can make and receive calls from and perhaps send a few limited texts and take hopeful photos of the cats doing something cute. When I look, they’re usually just a fur blur:

“Oh no, I’m not posing again, she takes forever, can never get the focus right and the lighting’s all wrong in here…”

Book 6.JPGBeautiful… Just beautiful 

My cats moonlight as supermodels… I had just about managed to learn how to fulfil all my requirements with my sedate, calm little phone.

This new self-confident bruiser of a phone definitely knows who’s boss. Since I’ve had it, I have deleted all my contacts (three times), sent puzzling voicemails to my mother, rung my son accidentally while in a class at college and it has hidden all my photos.

I have concluded that this phone has control issues, so I must apologise to anyone who has received bizarre, half-formed comments, puzzling likes and the occasional smiley face or question mark for no apparent reason…

Did Neolithic man have this much trouble with the wheel? (“Nah mate, triangles are never gonna work…”) As a middle aged woman, I am waiting for the next stage in my evolution to confident user of 21st century technology. It may be some time.

FrogMum and her Phone.jpeg

All photographs Copyright © 2016 Alex Marlowe

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34 thoughts on “Mobile Phone Face Off

    1. Thank you! Yes, my son invested in the camera he wanted (Canon EOS 5D12.8) and it takes lovely photos! He does have exceptional models in the cats though! Yes…I’ve had this phone a while now…I warned it if it didn’t behave it would be in a blog….Thank youfor reading and your lovely comment : ) xx

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Lol! I am upper-middle aged (that’s probably a generous assessment), but I have gained control over the cell phone I so assiduously avoided owning for so many years. Even now, few people know I have it because I don’t WANT to be available 24 hours a day. But I encourage you to use its most amazing abilities to the fullest extent possible. Not for such stagnant time-sucks as gaming or social media updates, but for the world you now hold in your hand. Need a weather forecast? News? Directions to somewhere? Health and activity data? Information about… anything in the known Universe? A phone is so rarely about talking to another person anymore, my son contemplates changing his voice mail message to, “Seriously? Text me.”

    Besides, they do take excellent photos and videos, and there are so many apps out there for editing them in creatively bizarre or beautiful ways.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Yes…I would just like it if my phone would sometimes let me do what I wanted to do…both my sons manage very well with theirs and I am in awe of their tech ability, but I am gradually learning. Much to my younger son’s annoyance I have figured out the music app thing so I can play Justin Bieber songs..thank you for reading and commenting and positive encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. If it does, it hasn’t let me into its secret yet…I tend to write everything out by hand, then type it out on the laptop and my son takes the photos and uploads them to the words. I will have to learn how to do it before he goes to university…!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your post made me smile again 🙂 I’m addicted to my phones, unfortunately (and, as most people, I don’t actually use them to phone anyone very often) because they provide me with an instant access to the internet. I’m sure you’ll soon find at least one thing in your phone that is indispensable for you and it’ll make you want to explore all the other possibilities. Invading people’s personal space with lovely Justin Bieber might not be such a good idea, though – some people nowadays tend to overreact and are so fussy about their musical bubble… On the other hand, since you said you travel by bus often, it might provide you with some protection against unwanted attention of bubbly conversationalists 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. my husband nearly broke down our bathroom door when I was singing in the shower- he thought I was dying 😦 one of my dogs used to howl, two others would hide as soon as I even attempted to hum a tune…oh, well

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I’m looking forward to the post then 🙂 And even the best camera without a talented photographer is a waste of money. In Alex’s case it is money well spent, obviously 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      1. I was reading a library book once and I’d just got to a really good part. I turned the page and someone had done a massive messy sneeze…vile…I slammed it shut, horrified, and never found out what happened in the end!!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. same here.. my cellphone is only for calls, some texting, i don’t play games cause it makes me dizzy, don’t have music either cause i’m not comfortable with earphones, but sometimes turns on wifi when i need to google something.. and it is mainly use to take photos.. lots and lots of cat photos..

    Liked by 2 people

      1. my son is my number one critic too as he says that how come that when he’s the one taking photos they are clearer but mine is a bit blurred haha.

        Like

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