I have unwittingly taken part in a comedy routine that, if sent to one of these humorous clip shows, would have undoubtedly won a cash prize…
I came downstairs this morning at my usual time and saw what I thought was a ball of fluff on the front room floor… Not being at my sharpest until I’ve had the first cigarette and cup of tea of the day, I thought: “Oh dear, who came off worst in kitty wars then?” and bent down to pick it up. I mashed it gently between my fingers, thinking “Hmm, not quite cat fur texture, more leathery…” Whereupon it sprouted legs.
I feel a little sick thinking about it even now (and that’s after more tea and LOTS more cigarettes!) The spider, not appreciating its impromptu massage, scrabbled desperately at my fingers. I was doing one of those weird horror film screams where you think you’re making the loudest sound in the world when really it’s just a breathless squeak…
I dropped the spider. It scarpered off towards the cat flap.
“Rubbish service here… Not tipping you!”
I fell shocked and quivering to the sofa.
I don’t like the arachnid sense of humour. Granted, I don’t want to kill them any more, but really, they don’t have to take liberties. Once, I was getting a cereal bowl from the kitchen cupboard, and as I brought it down to eyelevel, I saw there was an extremely large spider sat in it. It saw me and gibbered. I gibbered back. I dropped the bowl and the spider ran away, I swear it was laughing…
I don’t like it when my cats and spiders collude in practical jokes. All my girls have a special meow when they’ve caught something, that means: “Come here! See what I’ve got! You’ll love it!” I’m never entirely sure what they’ll bring me, so I like to have mouse catching equipment to hand, kitchen towel for bird entrails etc.
This particular day, it was my older black cat, whose sense of humour can be a little warped…
“What have you got?”
“Here, I know you’ll love this, I selected it specially…”
A large spider leaped from her jaws like some kind of horrid circus act.
“Hahh! April Fool!”
As I ran away crying, I could hear them laughing…
“Same time next year then?”
“Sure, just give my agent a call.”
All photos were taken by my son!
Hello! I really do love you and your blog, so I have nominated you for the Liebster award!
If you would like to accept then please click the link below to see the rules.
https://crazycatmamablog.wordpress.com/2016/04/17/nominated-for-a-liebster-award/
Enjoy!
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Omg thank you very much!! Yes of course I’ll accept, but I need to have a deep meaningful think about my answers and ask my son to sort the techie bits…just to check was it ten or eleven questions from you I have to answer as I think I may have missed one out…thank you again for nominating me ,”Selenite and Siamese” will be posted shortly…
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I’m so glad you will be accepting! It’s 10 questions to answer and then 11 random facts about yourself. I hope your whole family will enjoy taking part in this award, you’ve earned it!
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Ok thank you for clearing that up, off to rack my brains for 11 random facts… 🙂
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I really enjoyed reading this blog – is it wrong to admit that I liked something that so obviously was borne from fear and discomfort ?
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Not at all..making it funny – I hope! – and sharing makes me feel a little better about being the stooge for feline and arachnid jokes…
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